I’m all for freedom, in fact, freedom is one of my core values. We mistakenly think that freedom is boundless.
Well, it can’t be, for many obvious reasons. We live in a society with other people, we are not free to do anything that hurts others, which is an example of a yes… boundary.
I’d go as far as saying our freedom is cast by the boundaries we set. The clearer they are, the freer we are to engage with what we really want to in life.
For many years, I fell into the trap of “live and let live” and freedom for all. But the more time passed, I found myself in situations where I was exhausted and overwhelmed, my energy drained and not by who I chose to be.
In a world abundant with extra information and attention-grabbing media all around, it’s as vital as ever to choose and draw clear boundaries for yourself to do your thing and walk your talk.
Look at your life. Do obligations bind you to other people, rules, or habits that are taken for granted and don’t serve you anymore? It’s time to reassess and affirm the boundaries you need to be fully yourself.
Pay attention to what feels wrong and stops you from being who you chose to be. These can be deep-seated interpretations of reality that you carry with you from childhood. Take the time to look unwaveringly inside, and discover how you are not respecting boundaries that may serve you.
This includes listening to negative talk from people who are close to you. Sometimes this drains the wind out of your sails, and you spend quite a while recuperating. It happened to me this week. It took me three days to understand what happened and find the clear boundary I had to set.
Sometimes it’s hard to look inside on your own, it can be terrifying and often downright impossible. There’s no better time to ask for help. Get the help you need to figure this out, it may take some time, but it’s worth it.
Break free from what bounds you to the past so you can live fully in the present, free.
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