I have been sick with a throat infection for a couple of days. It was debilitating. Not something I am used to at all. Likewise, my body is usually pretty healthy. So this thankfully short debilitating state was a chance to explore feelings I typically take for granted.
While sick, all I could do was read books, so I read all about Kilian Jornet‘s adventures in alpinism and racing and his thoughts about life. In the beginning, it was frustrating. I was on a role of running and climbing and running again for a few days until the infection said stop!
After that, I couldn’t go on as much as I wanted to. I had limited movement. The only freedom I did have during these two days was mindfulness and feeling everything I could about my unusual acute condition.
The result was a strange mix of pain, weakness, frustration, and guilt as I could not tend to what I had planned. But other feelings came into focus, too. Soft feelings of tenderness came sneaking in. Finally, the ease with which I fell asleep, my body, exhausted from fighting the infection, gave in to the comfort of the bed as my mind turned off for a while.
I learned much about myself, the people around me, and how they reacted to my condition. I realized I had so much to be grateful for. It brought me to tears from time to time within my agony, grateful tears for having the support around me that I needed.
I can name all these feelings, but they were new to me. Things I usually take for granted in myself and others and the world around me took focus. I could suddenly notice them.
So the concept of feelings you cannot name comes from Kilian’s book “Above the clouds.” In which he says: “My heart, I realized at the time, was telling me I wanted to return to climbing unnamed mountains, so that I might feel again, without knowing how to describe my feelings.”
Kilian refers to one step further than what I was describing until now.
It would help to have a healthy body, mind, and spirit. It demands freedom in the word’s healthy sense, where you can make choices with consequences you know you are willing and can take upon yourself. I wish everyone could get to such a higher living level one day.
It belongs to a mindset of growth and learning orientation where you become the subject of your study. The conclusions will set the direction your life takes when you look at them and decide how to proceed based on the results of your research.
As you continue with this kind of creative living, be sure to listen and pay attention, draw the correct conclusions, and do your best to learn and grow in the direction of your aspirations. These two days of ill health made it clear to me how important it is to keep one’s health intact if you have aspirations and plans that need you in the best physical condition, like me.
I hope you’ll take the time to write a comment or send me a message about your work in progress.