Three sure and simple ways to upgrade your relationships

It begins in the family Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
Relationships of all kinds begin in the family. Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Relationships are the building blocks of our life


Relationships are at the core of our being. This is why it’s essential, to upgrade your relationships constantly, at least the relationships you cannot do without.

It starts with our parents when we are born, then our siblings, our friends in kindergarten and in school, in all our extracurricular activities, at work when we grow up, and with our own spouses, children, friends, and so on. 

Relationships are a key factor in our lives and our performance in life deeply depends on them. Optimizing your relationships optimizes life and your performance, in whatever it is you do. So here are three simple ways to upgrade your relationships.

Be curious about other people

This is an easy one if you are naturally curious about people in general. But I’m talking about family, friends, and acquaintances. It’s fundamental. Always be curious about the people you have a relationship with. Ask them how they are with a real intention to know their answer and to find out how they feel
Relationships are naturally reciprocal, the law of reciprocity is a natural law, it exists in nature as it does between people. When you are interested in other people, they will naturally be interested in you too. That’s a gift, or a bonus, not a motivation, or an expectation. What should motivate you is authentic curiosity, care and attention to the people around you.

Add value whenever you can

If you can contribute to a conversation, by adding real value, your relationships will definitely be upgraded by it. Make a point of adding as much value as you can to any interaction you have with others. Inspire, support, encourage, and collaborate. Bring enthusiasm and energy to your interactions with others whenever you can.
This will be greatly appreciated and reciprocated, as with curiosity. Try this out and see if your relationships grow in value. The saying is “you reap what you saw”, so if you add value, naturally you are supposed to be getting more value back. Check this out and let me know in the comments below if this is so.

Cultivate the world as a friendly place


Einstein said: “I think the most important question facing humanity is, ‘Is the universe a friendly place?’ This is the first and most basic question all people must answer for themselves.” In the question of relationships, coming from the man of relativity himself, this cannot be taken lightly.

This translates very simply into – kindness matters – be kind. Be Kind to strangers, be kind to your friends and family, but most of all, assume that people have good intentions. Give them the benefit of the doubt. It will be worth your while, especially if you work with them. 

If you are right – it will be of great benefit, because then you will have acknowledged their good intentions and possible efforts for the good of all concerned. If they will do everything to prove you wrong, then, you may assume the opposite and decide how to react in the best way possible. 

Choose how you respond


Last but not least is the question of how you respond when all the above fails somehow. There is only one answer for that, and it served humanity even in the hardest times. Viktor Frankel in his book Man’s Search for meaning gave us this profound thought. It pertains in my mind to our being “feeling creatures that think” as Jill Bolte Taylor defines us.

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ― Viktor E. Frankl.

Try to use your thoughts relating to your feelings, instead of kneejerk responses. Use that instant between stimulus and response and exercise your freedom to choose who you want to be in your relationships. 

It can change your life.

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